The Language of a Drunk

By Jon Searle

Isn’t it funny the way that the smallest amount of alcohol can change our language and Language delivery? However a large amount of alcohol can change personalities completely, showing no regard for normal social rules.

A person may start a night as a ‘Steven Fry’ sound-a-like, using words such as ‘bucolic’ correctly in a sentence and leaving everyone in their wake feeling inferior to their linguistic genius. But in the amount of time it takes to sink that last shot of liquor; which sends them over the metaphorical ’too much’ line, they have used a specific word beginning with ‘F’ in sentences which it has no relevance and was not meant to reside in. Words like this belong in a list which I save for exclamations of pain and to describe extreme dismay or anger.
E.g. “Oh ‘f’ my skin has been deeply punctured by this knife. This is a level of pain which I have never felt before.”
Rather than,
“Oh ‘f’ the ‘f-ing’ Kebab shop is ‘f-ing’ closed, with what shall I replenish my vomit ammunition with now – my ‘f-ing’ stomach is bare.”

It would be useful if one day someone would invent some translation services to decipher what some of the most confused drunks are trying to say. At this stage I would love to point you in the direction of an amusing Youtube clip of an incoherent drunk, but I think that everyone already has their favourite (Please share).

Language can also take a different turn with the introduction of alcohol. The catalyst for this change is the opposite sex. Normally talking with friends, slang words are very prominent in conversations. Shortening words and not pronouncing others properly are common. But if a man were to meet a woman whilst under the influence of alcohol, he suddenly turns into William Wordsworth. Alcohol is the fuel for your confidence to take a risk with your language and try to appear articulate. This is not always successful though, apart from your own perspective. For an onlooker you would probably sound like Danny Dyer reading from a dictionary, rather than a modern day professional translation of Shakespeare.

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Posted on June 19, 2012, in About Life, Culture and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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